Changing a Man (or Woman)

Location: Boston

I never wanted to be one of those women who tries to “change a man”. I don’t want anybody to try and change me so it’d be hypocritical to try and change them. I’ve watched my friends (and my mother for that matter!) expound a lot of energy on the little things, trying to “clean him up”, etc., etc. It’s not that I don’t get some of the same ideas in my head, I just try not to act on them no matter how much I might want to.

Then there are the bigger things – like how people handle stress or how they communicate, things that can positively or negatively affect a relationship. For example, in my particular situation, the guy in question is, in my mind, unpredictable in a lot of ways, and I’ll gripe about that on occasion. He laughs and says that he’s the most predictable guy in the world. Usually I mutter under my breath and drop it. But today I was talking to a friend of mine, and she said something about him and I that was mostly unrelated but it occurred to me that he’s absolutely right. He IS predictable – I can pretty much guess how he’s going to react to a given situation…I just don’t always like his choice of reaction!

So knowing that I don’t want to be one of these women who tries to “change a man”, do I just accept that he is how he is or do I fall into what so many women fall into and try and change him? Can you really change a person? Is there any reason to really change them or do you simply register your complaint?

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Changing a Man (or Woman)